At first, I was just a thought. I am a thought awaited by some but
disregarded by the others. Am a thought
that is loved and is hoped for by some but thrown and hurt by the others. I am
wondering what will I be: the disregarded or the loved? The most awaited or the
most feared?
At last! The day that I have been
anticipating came to life. I was conceived by my mother. I am now alive. I now
have life. It is so amazing how love transformed me from a thought into this, a
fetus! Months had passed and I can feel my mother’s heartbeat. With its every
beat, I can feel the love of my mother coming towards me. I just feel so
excited to come out and become a child. I can also discern my mother’s pain
that she eventually did repress just for me. With that, I can feel her passion
and care for me. I just feel so blessed to have her as my mother.
Days had passed and my hearing had
developed. Finally, I can hear my mother’s voice. I found out that she is a
shoemaker! That would be so amazing! The best part is, she made a pair of
baby’s shoes for me when I’ll be out of her tummy. Oh, that would be truly
nice. Imagine? Many people went to her shoe house and tried to offer her a huge
amount of money for that pair of shoes yet she refused all of them! I am truly
blessed to have her as my mother! When I’ll become a child and grow up, I’d
have a pair of shoes for Monday, another for Tuesday and another one for each
of the rest of the days of the week. That would be so classy and amazing. I’m,
sure my friends would envy me for my dazzling shoes.
 |
| Many more months had passed and my mother knew my sex. I’m a boy! It would be so amazing. I could be named Angelo or James, maybe Zeus or Michael! Yes Michael! Call me Michael from now on folks! |
Many more months had passed and my
mother knew my sex. I’m a boy! It would be so amazing. I could be named Angelo
or James, maybe Zeus or Michael! Yes Michael! Call me Michael from now on
folks! I could play basketball with my dad while mom is busy working in the
yard. I and dad could play board games while mom will bring pizza to us. I
could annoy my mother and report to my father as I accomplish my task and we’ll
all laugh together hysterically. But wait.. Where is Dad? Ever since I was
conceived, I had never felt his paternal presence and hug. Well maybe, he’s
working outside of the country, far far away from Mom in order to ensure my
bright future. He is truly saving for my education and thinking he’ll enrol me
in a high-class university someday. Oh sigh, what a “maybe” I’ve got in here. I
hope I am right.
Days had passed and the day that I
have been waiting came to life! I heard my mother is going to Dad’s! Finally, I
can feel his love towards me. Hey Dad! I’m your son! I love you. Oh my, I can’t
stop mumbling!
Finally, we arrived at my Dad’s
house. For the first time, I can feel the warmth of my father’s hug to me. With
so much masculinity gushing forth towards me, I kicked my Mom so hard! I heard
them laugh for a minute until they argued and I can’t hear what they are
saying. Mom! Dad! Please stop! Mom! Dad! Nooooooooooo!
More days were being crashed out on
the calendar and I have found out that I am an unwanted child by my father. It
just hurts me so bad to think my hopes of a father working so hard for my
future crashed and flown in the air. Well, I just feel so blessed to have a Mom
like her. She’ll always protect me in times of need.
But, one day, I felt like hurting. I
feel like I was burning. There’s pain in my heart that I can’t stop but it
stops my heartbeat like I’m not about to last. Pain, so much pain! Ouch! I
can’t help it. It feels like I was thrown in the lake of fire for such
innocence that I have. Mom, Dad, why do you have to do this? Mom, Dad, WHYYYYY?
I am dead. I was aborted by my
mother. I am now back into being a thought. I have lots of questions in my
mind. Mom, Dad, I could have belonged to some people who deserved me better
than you do. Mom, Dad, I could have lived a life of happiness and joy if you
had let me. Dad, I could have played basketball with you and we’ll laugh as I
annoy Mom. Mom, you could have someone you’ll call your own when people are
busy eating during March and April as they celebrate their recognitions and
graduations. Mom, Dad, I could walk, talk, dance if you’d let me live. Mom,
Dad, maybe I could be the reason of your great life if you’d let me live. Mom,
Dad, who would have known that I could be a celebrity, a dancer, or a singer in
TV? Mom, Dad, you have deprived me of a life that never ever came to me. Mom,
Dad, you both have shattered my dreams. Mom Dad, will you do the same to my
siblings or will you let them live? Mom, Dad, I could have worn that pair of
shoes that Mom has prepared for me.
After two weeks, Mom regained her
strength and went back to her workplace. She made a dozen more shoes and
rested. While sitting, she saw the baby’s shoes that she carefully prepared for
me. She cried upon seeing those shoes. Saddened and crying, yet she stood up,
got the pair of baby’s shoes and displayed it in the display window with a note
that says, “BABY’S SHOES FOR SALE: NEVER WORN.”
I used to be Michael. Are you just
like my Mom and Dad? If you are thinking of doing the thing in congruence to
what my Mom and Dad did, well think of the Michael or Michaela maybe that is in
you, will you also break their dreams just as my Mom and Dad did to me? Please
let them live. I was unwanted, I was feared and in the end, I am still a
thought.
TWEET #BabysShoesForSaleNeverWorn
TWEET #BabysShoesForSaleNeverWorn
@iDrinny on Twitter.
